Hold Me Up Like This
by AidenConner
Summary: As she saw him, vomiting over the toilet, she knew that some secrets weren't meant to be told. BEING REVAMPED.
1. I've got headaches, and bad luck

Derek had been acting strange lately. Not particularly nice, or particularly mean, just different. He had spent a lot of time in his bedroom- so much time in fact that fifteen-year-old Casey MacDonald had started to wonder exactly what he was doing in there.

He was a fifteen year old boy, so Casey had some idea of what he was doing, but usually he played Brittany Spears music when he did that. No, his room had been silent for days. And when he did come out it was like he was empty. Every time Casey made a rude comment on his behavior he would respond with a wry smile and went back to his room. He just took it.

And then there was Nora and George. Every time Casey or Lizzie, or even Marti made a comment on how he was acting they would just close it with a lame little excuse 'He had a headache-" Lizzie and Edwin may fall for that one, but not Casey. She knew better than that, and besides, George was quite possibly the worst lyer on the planet.

There were just so many things that Derek could of done to cause this rapid and frosty change between he and the rest of the family, that it left Casey with hours of enjoyment going over all the possible scenarios.

But now her curiosity had gotten to her, and she was becoming so restless she felt that she was going to burst she noticed as she got dressed on a hot Saturday morning in July. She chose a simple ripped Jean mini skirt and a black tank top that looked amazing against her newly tanned skin and hair which she had curled and tied back into a clip.

She welcomed the cool feeling of the hardwood floor as she walked down the steps of her Okachobee, Canada home. She walked into the kitchen and grabbed a Banana from the counter eating it hungrily. The subject of Derek had gotten boring lately, but for some reason, she couldn't keep his face from her mind. It was like some kind of obsessive crush that she had on him.

No, not crush. Definitely not. No way. Just an obsession.

On a boy.

Sam hadn't been by lately, either. Maybe that was it! Maybe Derek and Sam had gotten into a fight. Their friendship had been a little stressed since Casey had broken it off with Sam. It was just too weird, having Sam act like a total sweetheart when he was with her, and then listen to him talk with Derek about other girls and hockey. Sam had gotten pretty angry with her after she broke up with him- violent even, but luckily she had done it close to home. She wondered what would of happened if no one was around.

She smiled as Marti walked in wearing some purple princess outfit that she had begged for a whole nine minutes before George had gotten it for her. At least the five-year-old was getting a good wear out of it. She hadn't taken it off in weeks.

"Hey Marti," She said sweetly as she saw her step-sister open the refrigerator door. "What are you doing?"

"I'm making a sandwich." The little girl said as she stood on her tippy-toes, trying to reach the peanut butter.

"Why? Are you hungary? I'll make a sandwich for you-"

"No. It's for Smerek-" Marti said, giving up as Casey grabbed the jar of Jiffy for her.

"Derek?" Casey asked questioningly. "Did he ask you to make a sandwich for him?" She paused. "It figures. He can't do anything for himself."

"No" Marti said, holding on to the edges of the counter, jumping up and down as she watched Casey make the conglomeration of peanut butter and grape jelly. "I'm just making it for him."

"That's nice of you." Casey said. "Why would you want to go and do that though?"

"Because he is getting skinny. Edwin told me that if you keep getting skinny you will turn into nothingness." Marti said matter-of-factly, completely believing what her older brother had told her.

"Well, we wouldn't want that to happen-" Casey said sarcastically. "Have you spoken to Derek today?"

"Yeah. He was in the potty."

Derek walked into the kitchen just then, not saying a word as he reached into the medicine cabinet, grabbing an hand full of aspirin and swallowing them.

"What's up with you?" Casey asked

"Is Smerek sick?"

"I've got a headache." Derek said as he drank straight from the sink. Casey looked at him from the side. He did look thinner, but she just shrugged it off as he walked back to his room in silence.


	2. Some secrets weren't meant to be told

"It hurt so bad-" Derek Venturi thought, when he got sick. It had happened a lot more lately, and that scared him. He brushed his teeth rapidly looking into the fogged up mirror. He was wearing a yellow and green Bob Marley shirt and Hollister jeans with a too small Hockey sweatshirt next to him on the counter. He spit out his tooth paste wispering 'shit' as some of it fell onto his shirt. He sighed as he pulled his favorite article of clothing over top of his head. He suddenly lurched over, a sharp pain in his side.

"Not today..." Derek whispered to himself. He couldn't get sick today. He had things to do. Important things. But before he knew it, he was hunched over the toilet. It was like all the warmth had been taken from him. He was always so cold, and it was like every drop of blood in his body had been rerouted into his stomach. He heard a knock on the door.

"Derek! Can you please hurry up? You've been in there forever. Your sister is going to kill someone." It was Nora.

"Yeah-" He croaked as he felt that numbness again in his stomach, and as hard as he tried not to, he threw up what little he had eaten in the past day into the toilet. He heard a distant rapping on the door. It seemed like the volume had been turned down on his life. "Derek! I am going to the mall with Emily in fifteen minutes. I have to take a shower!" He grabbed the toilet paper holder to try and stabilize himself, his vision fading in and out. His bare feet were freezing against the cold tile floor and he felt as if his sopping wet hair had turned into icicles.

"Derek! I have twelve minutes. If you don't open this door, I am going to do it for you."

Derek tried to say something in protest, but instead he just emptied the rest of the contents of his stomach into the toilet. He fought the dizziness that had swept over his body, though he began to slip from consciousness.

"Derek, I am coming in" Casey said, though to Derek it just sounded like a faint wispier. The air that rushed into the room as Casey opened the door rely warm as Derek let out a sigh. "Derek? Are you al right?" Casey asked questioningly, though it was pretty apparent that he was not.

"I'm not feeling too good, Case-" Derek whispered.

Casey walked up to him, placing a hand on his shoulder. He jerked uncomfortably. He was so pale it scared her. "I'm going to get George-"

"No." A voice loud and strong said, coming from Derek, who at the moment seemed anything but that. "Don't tell them, Casey. Please."

Casey looked at him oddly. He looked so helpless, and Casey felt genuinely sorry for him. "Please keep this secret for me Casey" Derek said, some color beginning to return to his face, though it still had the same pained look across it.

"Is this why you've been in your room lately?"

Derek ignored her. "Please?"

And as she saw him, sweating as he vomited into the toilet again, the look on his face made her believe that some secrets weren't meant to be told.

Under Derek's plea, Casey had left the bathroom and five minutes later, Derek fallowed in suit, though he didn't return to his room, though Casey could tell that he wanted to. Instead he joined George in his rusty 1984 station wagon and they drove away.

"Casey, Emily's at the door-" Her mom screamed as a newly refreshed Casey grabbed her purse and ran down the stairs.

"What's up?" Emily smiled as Casey closed the door behind them as they walked to the strip mall which was only a mile up the road.

"Not much." Casey said momentously. "Just waiting for school to start up again-"

"Not me" Emily snorted as she looked at Casey from the side. "How can you be so anxious for school to start up again when you haven't been to one good summer party. you haven't embraced it yet."

"What do you mean?"

"I know that before you moved to Canada you lived in Arizona, so you don't realize that here, winters are long." She talked in a dreamy voice, obviously wishing that summer would last forever. "Really long, so when summer gets here its like one big celebration. You haven't even been to one party yet."

"I don't really ever go to parties-" Casey said. "And it's not like I am number one on every ones invite list"

"Well, I am having a party tonight. You should come over. Let loose. Even bright Derek if you want-"

A smile spread across Casey's face. "Al right. I will."

Casey smiled as she walked up the stairs. Emily had helped her pick out the hottest party outfit, though she couldn't help but be surprised as she looked at herself in the mirror. Her black halter top and acid washed mini skirt looked so unlike her. With her hair tied back in a tight pony tail and black ribbon necklace even made her look- sexy. Her make up was much darker than she had ever worn it before, and she completed her outfit with black heels that tied in a bow around her ankles.

A smile spread across her face. She felt good about herself, better than she had when she had dressed like a nun. Maybe she would start showing skin more often. She walked across the hall and rapped on Derek's door. She knew that despite her wardrobe change, Emily would be pretty angry if she didn't bring Derek with her. "Derek?" she called, rapping on the door again.

"Just a minute" He said as Casey could hear stirrings on the other side of the door.

"Yes?" he said, opening the door just enough for him to stick his head out. He scanned her up and down. "You look dressed up."

"Yeah, Emily's having a party. I was wondering if you wanted to-" She stopped, catching a whiff of something in her nose. Her eyes grew wide. "Have you?-" she asked as she pushed the door open further, smelling again. "Ohmigod, Derek. Have you been smoking pot?"

"No..."Derek said, looking taken aback. 'Why would you say that?"

Casey pushed the door open all the way, walking inside. "Mainly because your room reeks of Marijuana, and because your pupils are the size of saucers-" She took a deep breath, angry that Derek had made such a negative life style choice. "You know, Derek. I don't know what has been going on with you lately, but this is the last straw. I am telling Mom and George!-"

Casey looked at her brother. He looked horrible, and she wondered if his was the life of stoners everywhere. He was plae and thin, and his face looked sunken in, but still in some sick way, Casey still thought that he looked cute. She started to walk out the door, but she felt him pull her back in.

"They already know-" Derek said

"What?"

"They already know that I'm smoking-"

"That's a lie, Derek. Why in hell would they let you do that?"

Derek walked past Casey and closed his bedroom door. "Casey, if I tell you why I am smoking, do you promise not to tell Marti or Lizzie or the kids at school?"

"Al right?" Casey said uncertainly. She felt like she was selling her soul to the devil.

"I am serious. I want you to swear on your life that you wont tell Emily or Sam or Edwin...especially Edwin.

"I swear Derek, gosh. You must be high. You're talking like a crazy person-"

"It helps with the pain-" Derek said as Casey looked at him wide eyed, expecting more. Derek paused, not wanting to say it, because if he said it aloud, to Derek, it would mean that it was true. "I have Cancer, Case-"

"You really are out of your mind" Casey said, angry as she got up off the corner of Derek's bed.

"Sit down, Casey-" He said as she looked at his face.

"Oh, god. Your serious-" she whispered. The look on his face almost brought tears to her eyes. He looked so scared and vulnerable, like he would never be happy again. "How- when did you find out?"

"About a month ago. Before my mom and dad got married they had genetic tests done, to se if they had the genes for any deadly diseases. My mom's parents both had the dwarfism gene they didn't know about, so when they first had their children, my Uncle Brian turned out a dwarf. My mom wanted to make sure that that didn't happen between her and my dad." Derek paused for a minute, and Casey thought he had fallen asleep, but when she looked at him, she saw that he was holding back tears." It turned out that they both had the gene for a rare genetic abdominal cancer. The doctor said that there was only a four percents chance of one of their children getting sick. I guess that I am one of the four percent"

"Are you going to be Ok?"

"Maybe. They caught it sort of soon but it had already metastasized into my appendix, which they took out when I went to 'Hockey Camp' I started my first round of chemo last week..."

"Derek? Are you going to die?" Casey said, a tear rolling down her cheek.

"No!' Derek said getting up next to her and wiping a tear from her eye. "No way-"

Derek sent her off to her party as he looked at the door he had just sent Casey out of. He sat down in his office chair, putting his feet up on the desk. That definitely wasn't the first time he had had a beautiful girl in his room, and it certainly wouldn't be the last. Casey looked good in anything, but something about the way she was dressed tonight made him go crazy. She looked so gorgeous that Derek seriously had to restrain himself from jumping on top of her. But she had asked the question that he had asked himself dozens of times. Was he going to die?

"I don't know, Case-" he said taking a drag from his joint. "I really don't know-"


	3. We're making out inside crashed cars

Casey was pissed. So more than she had ever been in her life. At her mom, Geroge, and at anyone who had the odacity to come and talk to her. At the moment she was in the room listening to music that seemed to calm her mood.

She understood why her parents hadn't told the younger children about Derek's con-condition. But not her. Not Casey. Anything Derek could handle, she could handle too. Casey paused. That statement had been true in the past, but was it anymore. She paused again. If her and Derek had to switch places would she be able to handle his situation with as he did? He almost acted as if he didn't care that his body was killing him, but then again, Derek had never been one to express his feelings.

As her song came on the radio and she couldn't help but think of Derek as a tear rolled down her face.

He was feeling much better today, thank god. For Derek, this was the greatest day of the year. The end of the summer party, and to top it all off he had turned 16 only a few days before and his newly printed and laminated license lay in his wallet waiting to be used. The hot water was starting to run out he noted as he washed his hair rapidly. Every cevass of his body was clean and smelling good by the time he began to rinse his hair, closing his eyes to avoid soap getting into them and turned off the water. He grabbed a towel and walked out of the shower.

He jumped as he saw Casey brushing her teeth. "Don't you knock?" He said but he couldn't help but smile. Casey always made him smile. He grabbed his boxers and put them on underneath his towel and then unwrapped it. Casey burst out laughing. "What?" Derek said as Casey pointed at his boxes which were covered with pictures of Spiderman. "He's cool"

"Right, Derek." Casey said as she rolled her eyes and carefully put on some lip gloss. She threw him his jeans and he put them on his feet freezing as he pushed Casey over a little so that he could see the mirror. "Derek!" She exclaimed as he smeared lip gloss along the side of her face.

"Sorry" He muttered as he brushed his teeth. "You look nice" He muttered, his mouth full of foam.

"Yeah. Emily invited me to this end of the year party thing. Apparently it's pretty big around here."

"Yeah, I'll drive you if you want..." He said, rinsing out his mouth.

"Your going?' Casey inquired. She wasn't sure if a party that Derek was going to would be her scene.

"Yeah. It's the biggest party of the year. Why wouldn't I go?"

"I dunno. I just didn't think that you would be up to it what with your-" She stopped as Derek looked at her angrily.

"You didn't unplug the shower-" she said, making a quick save.

"Are you sure? I thought I pushed that lever thing down?"

"Do you hear the water draining?" Casey asked as Derek walked to the bathtub. The nozzle was down, he saw. There was probably a washcloth blocking the drain. He felt something and grabbed it, surprised to find a clump of hair. The Venturi-MacDonald house had a strict bathroom rule- everyone had to clear the drain before they left. The hair was too light to be Edwin's or Casey's, and way to short to be Lizzie's.

"Son of a Bitch!" Derek yelled as he hit the bathroom wall with his hand.

"What?" Casey asked. The water was draining from the tub now. She looked at Derek.

"Nothing." He said as she saw him throw something into the toilet and flush it. "Be ready and in my car in 15 minutes." and with that he walked into his room and slammed the door.

"I don't know why he won't talk to me-" Casey said to herself.

Derek looked at himself in the mirror. This was not supposed to be happening. The doctors had said- they had promised that his hair was not going to fall out until his second round of chemo, but sure enough, his hair was falling out. It was just barely noticeable, but thinner none the least. He got dressed and jumped in the car with Casey like nothing had happened.

Casey was having a great time Derek noted sourly, although she had managed to stay no more than ten feet away from him the whole night, not that Derek could blame her. She was probably scared that he was going to get sick or something. Derek looked on bitterly as a girl walked up to him.

"Hey" She smiled. Derek glanced at her. He had seen her around school a few times.

"Hi. How's it going"

"It's going" the girl smiled "Party's slowing down a bit."

"I'm Derek-'" he smiled as he scanned her up and down. She was thin and athletic with skin so tan he was amazed that he could see her in the dark. She had beach blonde hair that was cut just below the shoulder blades and fixed pin-straight. All in all he would of given her an 8 on a scale of 1 to 10 except for her piercing blue eyes that boosted her up to an 8.5.

"I know..." The girl smiled. "I'm Laine-"

"Pleasure-" Derek smiled. Suddenly his grin dropped as he saw a guy who was talking to Casey lead her to the dance floor which was on the sandy beach.

"Do you want to dance?" The girl he had just been introduced to as Laine asked.

"Sure" Derek said as he grabbed her hand and led her to the dance floor. The music picked up speed and so did the dancing as he felt the girl grind up against him, though he didn't really pay attention. He was too busy watching Casey and her man who he now realized as some punk he had beat up in the second grade. He suddenly jerked as he saw the guy put his hand on her butt.

"Will you excuse me for a minute?" Derek said as he walked up to the two. As he got closer to them he couldn't help but get more and more angry and when he pulled him away from her it was with much more force than he had originally intended.

"Hey man... What the hell?" the kid said as he stumbled back a few feet.

"Nobody puts a hand on her ass" Derek said, pointing at Casey "Unless I tell him to.."

"She's a big girl. She can make her own decisions..."

"You have better watch what you say to me, Nick. I beat you up when I was eight and I have grown a lot since then. You've stayed pretty much the same size... Are you sure you want to mess with me?"

"Whatever, man.." Nick said as he walked away. Derek looked around to find Casey but she was gone. He saw her storming away down the beach and into the dunes.

"Casey!" Derek yelled, fallowing her. "Casey!" She didn't answer him, but she did speed up her pace. Derek caught up with her as she reached the top on one of the smaller sand dunes. "Casey, stop.." He said as he got in front of her.

"Go Away Derek!" She yelled. "You can not do things like that. I can make my own decisions. I know what I want!"

"You can not tell me that you want a guy ho had his hand on your ass after him knowing you for less than five minutes." Derek yelled back.

"Oh, please..." Casey exclaimed. "Like your any better... I saw you dancing with that blonde haired skank. If their weren't other people around, I am sure that you would of screwed her right there on the dance floor..."

"Casey, that's not true-" Derek said as she started to walk away again. "Casey-stop. Casey, will you please just listen to me?"

"Derek. I can't believe you. Your the biggest hypocrite I have ever-"

Casey stopped as her eyes grew wide. Derek was kissing her. As mush as he mind protested, she went with it. She let out a soft moan as he pulled away, the taste of his kiss on her lips. She slowly opened his eyes as she saw him standing in front of her, his hands in her pockets, looking down at the ground.

"Um..." Casey said, shocked, looking for the right words to say. "Yeah...Well. Oh, what the hell" And with that she pressed her body up against his, their lips met together so fervently that she felt she could die right there. Months and months of built up sexual tension was unleashed as they explored the layouts of each others mouths. Their kiss was so hot, so passionate that Casey hardly noticed when they were at the door of Derek's car. She crawled into the drivers seat as Derek came down on top of her. He started up the car, rolling up the windows. She moaned as he kissed her cheek, her collarbone, behind her ear. She opened her eyes. "Derek?" She said, short of breath.

"Yeah?" He said his voice muffled by her lips.

"It's 4:30"

Derek stopped. "In the morning?"

"No..It's actually daylight out..." Casey said sarcastically as she slid over in the seat as the two drove home.

Derek lay in his bed. He seemed almost lost. All he had wanted for so long was Casey that now that he had her, he was unsure of what to do next. All he knew was that fifteen minutes ago, he and Casey were making out in his car, and he wasn't thinking about the pain, or his cancer, or what the kids were going to say at school. All he could think about was her. A smile spread across his face. Maybe he always did get what he wanted.


End file.
